Ace Harmony
by Hitobashira Alice
Summary: Continuous skit showing the Mane Six as attorneys against Trixie for the murder case of Fancy Pants. Probably inconclusive, just a short what-if.


"As I said, my husband and I were about to have lunch at Cinnamon Chai's, we left at half past twelve," repeated Upper Crust, putting as much disdain into each word as she could muster.

"Pardon!" interjected Rarity once again.

"What is it now?!" asked Upper Crust, frowning.

"Is there anything peculiar at all during your commute?" asked Rarity calmly, keeping eye contact with the witness. Their blueness of their eyes nearly indistinguishable, creating an impression of gazing to one's reflection through a twisted mirror of hatred.

"Objection, Your Honor! What does it have to do with anything? They were not even at the café yet!" Trixie interjected, "the prosecution requests that the defense doesn't let her personal fussiness contaminate the proceedings."

Rarity gasped. She squinted angrily and said slowly under her breath, quiet enough that only her sister was able to hear it, "that little…"

"Though I understand your concerns, I have learned from experience that even the most trivial of details might be imperative to the truth as a whole. Objection overruled," spoke The Judge, his years of experience shining through. Rarity felt a naughty smile crack through when she saw Trixie frowning, "witness, please answer the question."

"Urgh," Upper Crust flinched and stopped to mutter something that sounded a lot like 'humans', before she continued, "fine! There was nothing odd whatsoever! It was a peaceful walk to the tea shop! Happy now?"

Rarity gave an exuberant smile and lightly brushed her purple mane with her right hoof. Her assistant and sister also broke into smile as she was all too familiar with the expression on Rarity's face. She had seen it a thousand times whenever she had finished a particularly tricky piece of embroidery or sewing.

"Very much so, dear. The defense requests that the witness amend her…most charming testimony."

"I don't see why we're wasting our time with this," said the witness, examining the pedicure on her hoof, "but let's not waste any more time."

"As I said, my husband and I were about to have our lunch at Cinnamon Chai's, we left at half past twelve," said Upper Crust for the third time, the annoyance still unrelenting, "there was nothing out of the ordinary on the way there."

"There's a contradiction!" declared Twilight Sparkle as she levitated a piece of parchment telekinetically for the court to see.

Upper Crust gasped but instantly regained much of her composure and squinted to see the parchment. From the witness stand, the scribbled words were unintelligible. Rather, only Twilight and Spike were able to read the testimony recorded on it.

Trixie tried to look unimpressed, uninterested; yet the slight unevenness in her voice gave her doubts away.

"A-And what exactly is that dusty piece of parchment?"

"Your Honor, this is a written testimony by one Mr. Hayseed Turnip Truck," explained Twilight, not heeding Trixie's dismissal, as she took out copies of the testimony and levitated it over to everypony in attendance. Annotations and highlights had been added to the parchment, explaining both the circumstance and the content. She continued, "he's a stallion who, at the afternoon of the day the crime happened, was working as a courier. His day was uneventful…until he bumped into a certain mare!"

"Ah, a fateful meeting on the streets of a big city. Classic, yet never fails to make my heart flutters. But I don't see your point?"

'I can't believe I would ever advocate for somepony to read less, but someone should keep the romantic novels away from the Judge,' thought Twilight Sparkle to herself.

Outwardly, she simply shook her head and continued on, "and that mare…is the very same mare standing over there at the witness stand, Miss Upper Crust!"

The courtroom burst into a cacophony of whispers and murmurs. Hundreds of pairs of eyes looked at the said mare, who looked _very_ uncomfortable. Even Trixie couldn't speak and only watched the unfolding scene glumly. Droplets of sweat formed on Upper Crust's buttercup yellow coat.

"Yes! We got her!" Rainbow Dash had to use all her will power to constrain herself from taking off and doing air manoeuvers in celebration.

"Rainbow Dash, look! What is she up to?" asked Scootaloo, pointing at the prosecutor's bench.

To Rainbow Dash's chagrin, she saw that Trixie no longer looked distressed. Using her magic, she straightened her magician hat, cleared her throat, and then she…smiled. Smugly.

"Hold on, Your Honor. If I may?"

"Yes, Miss Trixie?"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie happened to notice that the defense's objection was so brash, crass, and outright wrong, just like the defense herself."

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash shouted, indignant, "that's a low blow!"

"Yeah! Mind your own business, lady!"

Trixie continued, unabashed, "you see, Your Honor, the witness might have simply forgotten about it. But it's because most of us don't find bumping into somepony a particularly momentous occasion. Trixie, for one, happened to be quite the busy pony, unlike the defense. Who I'm sure would find bumping into anypony the highlight of her day."

Rainbow Dash growled angrily but said nothing.

"Well, do excuse me," started Upper Crust, "I indeed forgot about it due to everything happening. Surely you wouldn't blame me for an honest mistake?"

The Judge pondered thoughtfully before closing his eyes and nodded solemnly, "hmm…it's true forgetting bumping into somebody – somepony – is hardly a crucial mistake, Miss Dash. Or is there anything else you'd like to point out?"

"Uhh…" Rainbow Dash was taken aback. She had to begrudgingly admit that it was not a big hole in that snooty Upper Crust's testimony. Heck, she herself crashed into somepony or even buildings practically daily and if she remembered every instance she did it, she'd had no space left to remember her own name.

"Rainbow Dash, maybe we should take another look at Mr. Turnip Truck's testimony," said her trusty orange sidekick, jumping up and down in excitement for some reason, "perhaps there's something more to it."

Rainbow Dash groaned. If she knew being a defense attorney would require so much boring reading (as opposed to 'cool reading', which only meant Daring Do books), she'd have turned down Fleur-de-Lis' request.

Yet she had gone too far to turn back and wanted to win the case, so she glanced at the testimony once again and mumbled to herself.

"Courier work...package…blah blah…bumping into…oh!"

"How is it, Miss Dash? Is there anything in the testimony that actually contradicts the witness' statement?"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie proposes that the defense stop stalling and—"

"Well, duh! Of course there totally truly really is!" answered Pinkie Pie, jumping up and down excitedly, her words enigmatically not muffled at all despite holding the testimony parchment with her mouth.

"There is? What is it Miss Pie?" asked the Judge, his eyes wide in surprise.

"If you just take a loooookie here," said Pinkie Pie, "it said Hayseed was like 'walking, walking, walking, BUMP!', and the witness was like 'dropped my bag, groan, insult, insult, scoff', and then he was like 'let me help you Ma'm', and she was like 'go away' and then they went on their own ways by themselves!"

Everyone tried to follow the pink pony's explanation and thus the courtroom was shrouded in confused mutters. The Judge himself looked the most confused, his eyebrows knitted together in thought.

"Hmph. Stop speaking in riddles. Your point is?" demanded Trixie.

"My point is…Hayseed bumped into the witness…and SHE. WAS. ALONE!" declared Pinkie, dramatically pausing before each of the last three words.

Uproar of gasps and yells instantly threw the room into cacophony as she finished. Pinkie grinned, satisfied; her sister likewise showed her approval by nodding silently. Upper Crust was squarely in hot water and even looked the part, for her was grimacing in a furious shade of red.

"Order! Order in court!" the Judge slammed his gavel and the noise died down, "witness! How can you explain this? If you were not with your husband, then everything you said..."

"Fell apart like a bunch of pies stacked on top of each other that got knocked down when Pumpkin and Pound Cake ran into them!" Pinkie continued on the note, not missing one beat.

"I, uhh—," Upper Crust stuttered. Her eyes flailed wildly, trying to find a spot where nopony's eyes were scrutinizing her, to no avail, "I mean, he— we did, uhh— that pony must be mistaken! He must've missed his, I mean, my husband!"

Nopony bought her pitiful shreds of defiance, not even Trixie, judging by her looking downcast and pulling her hat to cover her eyes. And perhaps not even Upper Crust herself.

"All that we're missing," said Maud, her controlled, level voice a stark contrast to Upper Crust's frenzy, "is your husband on the stand."

"Um, that is, if he doesn't mind," added Fluttershy, petering out.

"Very well. Because his alibi hinges on them being together on the day of the crime, we shall put him on the stand. Bailiff, please prepare Mr. Jet Set to take the stand."

"Y-You! You said this wouldn't happen!" said Upper Crust, turning to face Trixie. For her part, Trixie looked at her coldly and shrugged.

"Surely if your husband is innocent like you claim, you have nothing to worry about."

Upper Crust looked terribly frustrated but could only stomp out huffing; Fluttershy had to resist the urge to go there and apologize. She still didn't want to believe that anypony would do such a horrible thing, but she had to do it for both Fancy Pants and Fleur-de-Lis.

"Wow, that was outright chill work there," said Tree Hugger outside the courtroom, which was being prepared, "I never knew you had such…rave inside you."

"O-Oh no," Fluttershy blushed but smiled at the praise, "I couldn't possibly have done it without your help."

The two mares shared a short, warming hug.

"Do you want to do a quick meditation? It'll mellow your vibes."

"I'd love to!" Fluttershy perked up as she always enjoyed Tree Hugger's trademark meditation, which consisted of her singing and sitting completely relaxed. But just then the bailiff went by, escorting Jet Set. The light grey stallion looked straight ahead with his head held up high, acknowledging neither her nor Tree Hugger.

"Unfortunately I don't think we have the time."

As the crowd ushered back in, the noise grew until it was silenced once again by the slam of the gavel.

"The trial will recommence. Witness, please state your name and occupation."

Fluttershy held her breath as everyone waited for him to speak. He peered through his glasses at the court. He paused as his eyes stopped at Fluttershy, his expression unreadable. Still, it was enough to make Fluttershy whimper and moved closer to Tree Hugger.

"My name is Jet Set. I am a member of the Canterlot social elite, patron of the arts, and part-time venture capitalist."

"I see. Now please give your alibi on the day of the crime."

Jet Set didn't reply immediately but instead took the chance to glance at Fluttershy once again.

"Believe me, Your Honor, it will be _my_ pleasure."

Jet Set took off his glasses and wiped it with a velvety handkerchief slowly. Only after he was satisfied by its impeccable shine he began to recount his alibi.

"I woke up at 6.30 and had breakfast together with my wife. We didn't leave our home until 10."

"Hold it, pardner!" interrupted Applejack.

Jet Set peeked through his glasses but said nothing. Applejack found it rude but pressed on, leaning over the defense bench slightly.

"Now why'd y'all take so long to get ready in the mornin'? Sounds mighty suspicious to me. I could get up and runnin' in 15 minutes."

The crowd went silent; Applejack couldn't say she was actually surprised and grinned sheepishly.

"Sis, you didn't actually think it would work, right?" asked Applebloom, looking dismayed.

"Ah thought it was worth a try."

The witness lifted his glasses slightly telekinetically and examined Applejack for a second before putting them down again wordlessly.

The one who broke the silence was Trixie.

"Your Honor, Trixie believes the defense has no idea what she's doing and is reaching for anything to say. Everyone's morning routines are different. Besides, the butlers and waitresses confirmed that the witness, and his wife for that matter, didn't leave the house until 10."

"Hmm…" mumbled the Judge, shaking his head, "the prosecution has a point. Let us continue."

'Oh hay. What'd they need multiple butlers for anyway? So they could look at them disapprovingly all day?' thought Applejack.

"First, we went to the Starry Sky Boutique to get measured for our outfits for the Gala. My wife and Sequin Stars are friends, so they talked for an hour."

Applejack pondered the statement; at first glance, it seemed to check out with what Sequin Stars had said during her investigation. She let him continue.

"Next, we left at 10.45 and took a shortcut through the park. Since we had time, we stopped a while to watch parts of the open performance held by the local theater group, Canterlot Youth Troupe, if I'm not mistaken. It was…acceptable, though obviously not up to par with the plays we frequent.

Finally, we arrived at Fancy Pants' at exactly midday. As my wife said, we were greeted by the maid, Lily Bouquet. She asked us to wait in the tea room as she called for Fancy Pants. This rather surprised me, for he is, well, was, a most punctual gentlecolt. But I thought nothing of it.

After almost half an hour, Fleur-de-Lis came, apologized, and told us they couldn't find Fancy Pants anywhere. We told her that we had a couple more things to do that day, so we'd check back later at 4.

We left at 12.30 to go to Cinnamon Chai's. I wasn't there when my wife bumped into that…commoner pony. But that was only because I went to check a most elegant hat stall I hadn't seen before. My wife must've missed but I caught up with her very soon anyway.

The tea shop was packed but of course we could get seats due to our prestige. The lunch was pleasant and uneventful. We were just finishing our meals when there was a commotion and we found out someone had murdered Fancy Pants. We immediately came back to his house and were taken for questioning. As dutiful members of the society, we obliged."

And thus, the trial continued…


End file.
